Youth Retreats at the Findlays’ by Diane Findlay
In the mid-late 1980s there were quite a few Baha’i youth scattered around the state but most lived in communities with only one or two other youth close by. It’s not easy holding your own and growing as the only or near-only Baha’i youth around you. Many of Iowa’s Baha’is knew each other and counted on each other as friends and to bolster their sense of Baha’i identity. They carried each other’s pictures in their wallets. They went to each other’s proms. They needed opportunities to be together. Seeing the need and wanting to nurture Baha’i identity in our own children, we started hosting youth retreats every 2-3 months at our acreage in Dallas County, just northwest of Des Moines.
We had a steady attendance of twenty to thirty, which was rather complicated logistically, since our old farmhouse had only one bathroom! Bringing in a porta-potty helped, but there were a lot of “baths” taken, clothed, in an old cattle tank in the yard and many nights with sleeping bags covering every available foot of floor space. Kids would drive in Friday evening. We’d fill the weekend with prayers, study and discussion sessions about Baha’i history, service, and aspects of “living the life,” led by youth or adults. We’d eat and play games and laugh and usually have a dance in the timeworn old barn on the property. Sometimes we did photo scavenger hunts. Sometimes we did service projects. The girls did each others’ hair and teased about “potty partners.”
One week, when we were anticipating the usual thirty, we found out on Thursday that a group of Baha’i youth were coming through Des Moines on a travel teaching trip and wanted to join us, swelling the ranks to about sixty! We literally had people sleeping in the trees, in hammocks! No one seemed to mind the less-than-adequate accommodations enough to stay away. Another time, we managed to start on fire some brush in an old grain bin and had to call the fire department! And then there was the winter weekend complicated by a sudden blizzard just as youth were arriving, limiting visibility and making our gravel road impassible. A couple of intrepid older youth bundled up, trekked the quarter mile to the pavement, helped new arrivals park on the shoulder, and led them back to the house. Fortunately, no casualties, human or vehicular, and by morning it was calm enough to get the cars to our property. But what an adventure! We hosted retreats for several years and, though it was a lot of work, it was such fun and the youthful energy so joyful! We came to know and love some wonderful young people.
Those young people are now scattered all over the country and around the world. They’re still wonderful! Many have accomplished great things in their careers and lives of service. I’m in touch with many of them through Facebook which, for all its very real problems, is an excellent tool for this purpose.
We’d love to hear from some of you—you know who you are! What memories do you have? Know that you enriched our lives and that we feel a sense of investment and pride in each one of you. Please share!
Our longtime neighbor and friend Charlotte Eby Martin, who grew up with our kids and came to several youth gatherings during this time, offered these comments:
Summer retreats at Scattergood. I met so many great people! Another memory or reflection for me: I was raised in a place and time where some folks didn’t understand why someone might be friends with a person of a different background or race. I always knew the Baha’i community was tolerant and accepting of others, and that was important validation for me in my formative years.
I can’t begin to express how much these youth activities have meant to my family of origin. My brothers David and Joe and I each married youth who attended these gatherings. Three quarters of my mother’s grandchildren are a result of these gatherings. And those marriages have lasted through the years. We are forever in your debt, Diane and Bob, for opening your home to the youth of Iowa. It meant so much, more than I can express.
Believe me, Susan, these gatherings were such a joy and a privilege for us! It was a very special time in our lives and we love that so many of these amazing people are still in our lives.
This is great, Diane and Susan! I’m glad to learn more of those youth from the early 80s.